Fear of the Process of Dying

One of the “worries” associated with prostate cancer is dying from it which around 24,000 men do annually.  One always hears that bone pain is the worst kind as it is difficult to medicate.  However, there is help and hope available as described in the recent article below published under “prostatesnatchers” to which I recommend one subscribes.  By the way, I recently participated in the meeting mentioned below sponsored by Bayer Pharmaceuticals.  One of the strong messages emanating from this on-line meeting was the need to facilitate and encourage better communication between prostate cancer patient and his physician(s).

Discussing a Painful Subject: Fear of the Process of Dying

Posted: 09 Jun 2015 09:55 AM PDT


Many men tell me that they fear the process of dying—suffering and experiencing pain—more than they fear death itself.  While I am no fan of pain, as a medical oncologist I have been responsible for the treatment of hundreds of patients with terminal cancer. I have learned that with good communication and proper medical management, pain can almost always be effectively controlled.

However, when reviewing the results of a recent patient survey at a meeting sponsored by Bayer Pharmaceuticals with a number of patient advocates, healthcare experts, and other physicians, it became sadly apparent that many patients are not being managed expertly. The survey indicated that many men with advanced cancer are suffering needlessly, mostly due to a lack of good communication with their doctors.

This survey of 410 men with advanced prostate cancer reported that two-thirds of men are trying to handle their pain by ignoring it!  One-third of all the men surveyed felt that acknowledging pain made them more fearful, raising anxiety about the possibility that their cancer is progressing.  A quarter of the men said, “It was difficult to talk about their pain,” relating that such discussions made them feel weak.

In other words, these men are using a common psychological defense mechanism called “denial.” One thing I have learned from years of experience treating patients is that denial can be a wonderful approach, but only if the situation is totally hopeless. I have observed men who appear to be in denial who are quite happy even when everyone knows that they are dying.

On the other hand, denial is a serious problem if what is being denied, in this case pain, can be fixed or remedied.  If men who are in denial fail to discuss pain with their doctors, their access to a solution is blocked.

Using denial can effectively control pain for short periods of time, however, using it on an ongoing basis is psychologically exhausting. Also, while denial might work for the patient, it can’t fool their surrounding loved ones. They see the effects of pain in the patient manifesting as fatigue, depression, inactivity, impatience, insomnia and hopelessness. Ultimately, the caregivers who are not shielded by denial end up suffering even more than the patient.

Cancer patients experience pain from multiple causes, not just their cancer.  Invariably, life itself is painful.  However, most types of cancer pain can be resolved.  The first step is to acknowledge its existence. The second step is to diagnose whether the pain is cancer-related. In the prostate cancer world, cancer-related pain is usually the result of bone metastases. Of course, not all bone pain is from cancer and not all bone metastases cause pain. If a man has pain in one of his bones and a bone scan shows a metastatic lesion in the exact same area as where the pain is occurring, then the probability is high that the pain is cancer-related.

The third step, once it has been confirmed that the pain is cancer-related, is to undertake the appropriate treatment. How to treat cancer-related pain is a topic big enough for another blog all its own. In my next blog I will also elaborate further on the correct medical approach used to distinguish cancer pain from non-cancer pain.

Someone has said, “Not knowing what to do is the worst kind of suffering.”  Helping men find a workable solution for pain not only relieves their pain, but it also releases them and their caregivers from the uncertainty and anxiety that comes from not knowing what to do.   

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